What the bully says and what they really mean

The bully boss said the following in an important meeting:

'I do think (my name) is a good person, I want to support her and want her to progress.' - while shaking her head.

#bodylanguage

News from the HR room

Are you a people leader?

Do you think you can make your own rules in the company?

Do you tell your underlings you have seen it all?

Do you tell your underlings you want to get them to a level to do things they did not think they could do?

Welcome to an HR meeting with me, where you can learn to do things you did not think you can do.  You may be senior and close to retirement, but you are not God who truly has seen it all.

Getting ready for more abuse and putdowns

After five days away from the bully boss the business trip felt like a holiday.  We enjoyed work and laughter and I learnt that 'the shit at work does not increase proportionally'.  I am not sure this applies in my case, as the better I do and the more I accomplish the more emotional abuse I experience.  Under no circumstances does the bully boss want me to progress.  So I lower my expectations and prepare for more emotional battering, putdowns and lies.  This way I won't be as disappointed or surprised.  It's the way we operate at this place.  It's best to disengage and stop fighting for my work to get recognised or else I will drain emotionally, but use this energy elsewhere.

I sat there rock solid

Today was an important meeting: I called for HR to mediate between the bully boss and myself.  The bully boss' boss was also present. This gentleman deserves to be called leader.  The issue I brought up was that my grade etc. within the company does not reflect the work I do and the responsibility I have.  At least that is how I feel.  Another issue was work environment and I stressed that some people in the team are not wanted and that I am one of them.  That there is a divide in the team and friction.  I made it clear that this is my perception only.

The bully boss was nervous beforehand and during the meeting.  I was nervous the day before and kept wondering what the outcome would be?  However, at the start of the meeting itself a high level of confidence came over me and I sat there rock solid the whole hour.  We discussed this and that.  I spend some time defending myself, trying to make the bully boss aware of all the things I have accomplished.  She tried pushing my buttons a few times, and while I put some things right I maintained this high level of confidence just to fuck her off.  What was typical for the bully boss was that she told lies.  In particular, we had a client come in earlier this week and I told her I do not have a presentation on the shelf on one of the subjects he wanted to speak about and that it would be good if he could let us know what he's interested in.  The bully boss responded:

'I don’t think that its appropriate for us to create new presentations. If you don’t have any slides I suggest you come along and be there to answer any questions that he may have on the subject.'

And what did the bully boss do in the meeting today? Exactly.  The bully boss said I did not have any slides and that she would have made any effort to put something together, implying I did not care and was not prepared and not willing.  Of course I put things right and forwarded the email to the leader afterwards.  

What the bully boss wants is to break my confidence.

Happy weekend.

Stay fearless